throwing a stone into the lake

[houseofscientia]

[It's been a few days since. Since King Regis had called for him to talk to him in his office. Privately. It's not like it never happened before, Ignis was close to the king due to Noctis, that's why there were some sensitive matters that had to be discussed privately. It happened before. But it never shook him like this.

The news were never about Noctis in such a cruel way.

Ignis remembers that he asked why he had to know about it. It was something about seeing more clear. Or some bullshit like that. He remembers leaving the royal office, fuming. Thinking that how come they know about Noct's fate and they still have to just sit around and wait for it to happen? Is this not a prank?

Of course, Ignis knows it's not a prank, it's too cruel for that. His anger slowly turns into something less intense, yet more choking. It costs him precious sleeping hours, even if he doesn't have much of those anyway. He works for Noctis, but he limits his visits to his apartment lately. He just can't bear to look at him without feeling his chest wanting to burst. Everything starts to feel like a fever dream after a few days and Ignis admits it's not. good. He's slowly losing his mind as he's trying to swallow down this bitter pill.

Ignis trains more than he usually would, in the vain hope that he'd exhaust himself enough to just drop unconscious for a few days and waking up healed. Yet, the so waited  result would never come; his mind would still keep him up at night, and make the days difficult. This time too, his body is tired, but his mind is still heavy with dread and grief for something that hadn't happened yet. Carrying that disappointment, Ignis takes his towel and attempts to storm out of the training room, just to bump into someone.]

Ah, Gladio.

[Ignis takes a step back to let the Amicitia in and then go on his business, yet he finds his feet unable to move from there.]

Late afternoon training?

[The last thing Ignis wants is a small talk, yet it's still better than just standing there, willing his body to move and go home and maybe get drunk too.]

Comments

[protecting]

❰ something has been off with ignis lately.

gladio's the first to admit he doesn't really know the guy as well as he'd like to. he's also the first to recognize that he knows him better than anyone save for maybe noctis himself, a paradox built on the shoulders of ignis's diligence in keeping everyone else at arm's length.

all of which means that even if gladio's not nearly close enough to the guy to ask what's up, he's the only one who really can. it's almost his duty to, really - but it's almost definitely gonna be unwelcome if he does, so he's been putting it off. he's been busy. ignis has been especially busy, one more sign (gladio recognizes with a mild pang of guilt) that something has gotten under his skin. 'i'll ask him next time,' the shield keeps telling himself. sometime when they're not just saying a quick 'hey' in passing.

and lo and behold, here ignis is right in front of him. he's backed up to let gladio in to the training hall, but their near-collision seems to have stolen all of his usual momentum and he stands there with an unusual sort of stiffness, the kind you can't really blame on his carefully-maintained posture. ❱

Hey Iggy, ❰ gladio greets, only a second belated as he steps in through the door - but then it's his turn to lose momentum, turning back to ignis. ❱ Yeah, guess so. A couple of 'guard trainees asked me to take 'em through some practice drills, but they bailed about fifteen minutes ago. I figured - I was already here so I might as well get some practice in, y'know? ❰ as if he doesn't practice enough each day.

meanwhile, gladio's acutely aware of the fact that this is 'next time' - that he can't let ignis get away without at least trying to bridge the gap. so, ❱ But hey, you've been training more too, haven't you? That's awesome. Lemme know if you ever get tired of beating up dummies, good sparring partners are hard to find. ❰ he's not entirely positive what part of that was supposed to end in asking ignis what's been up, but it sure didn't happen. fuck. ❱

[houseofscientia]

[It happens every time they meet with Gladio, Ignis wonders as he's listening to him. The way Gladio looks at him, the way he takes him in every time, as if he's seeing him. Gladio sees him in a different way than Noct does and sometimes it's a relief, sometimes it's a curse. It's also the reason Ignis lets Gladio get away with so many things; because maintaining his image, keeping perfect, is not just exhausting, but lonely. Noctis could always help Ignis whenever those feelings would engulf him and make him lose his mind, but on the other hand, there was Gladio who did the same.

This time, Ignis couldn't go to Noctis, he just couldn't. And maybe for the first time, he just realized that if Gladio wasn't around, he'd be even more lonely.

The thought is alarming, and shocking at the same time and Ignis isn't all that confident he can handle any of that right now.

Then there's silence and he snaps out of his strange train of thoughts, staring at Gladio. There was a question. Yes...]
Ah, yes. I mean, I'll... let you know.

[Ignis answers, looking at the door and plans to just walk out and continue dealing alone, like he always does. Yet, he doesn't and turns back to Gladio.]

Are you free tonight? Not for sparring, but more for a drink?

[Is this a good idea, he wonders. Will he be found out? Does he want to be found out? IS it fair to drag Gladio into this...?]