[ Once Noctis is awake, he wishes he wasn't. It was a lot to take in. The battle with Leviathan and the Empire, the power Luna gave him... The ring that sits in the Armiger now like a physical weight on his shoulders, bearing him down.
Luna's gone. It almost doesn't feel real, because for so long, she was never around. But Umbra doesn't visit again, and the notebook's still in a drawer in his hotel room with no response beyond the flower on the last page. No response ever again.
He sleeps a lot. It's easy. He felt tired and sore at first; it was a struggle just to sit up, to look in Ignis' direction. His body ached. It's easy to draw that out for days longer than he feels it, to sleep overly long, to stay in bed. The meals brought to him by the guys are from the hotel staff. He doesn't know how much any of this costs. He doesn't ask. Ignis doesn't bring it up. Nothing's like it used to be between them.
It gets to him eventually. Not the misery, not the grief and loss. Noctis wears those like a second skin, now. The loss of his dad was hard. Losing Luna is even harder. But he's lived through hell before. This is different, because back then, he had his friends to support him. Gladio's disapproval, Prompto's unrelenting cheer. They're hurting and he's disappointing them, but they're used to that from him, too, and Noctis is used to letting them down. It's not until he realizes that Ignis has stopped visiting his room that Noctis breaks. Nothing's every going to be how it used to be.
Concern and fear feel like the same thing to Noctis, but whatever it is, it's good motivation. He gets out of bed and doesn't just go stare off his balcony. He takes a shower instead for the first time in a couple days, and puts on clean clothes. The first few steps out of his room hit him with a weird sense of agoraphobia, like he's going to walk out onto that alter, or into a field of sylleblossoms, like in his dreams. He walks out into a hotel hallway instead. With a steadying exhale, he turns, ready to find his way downstairs... Only to stop after a couple steps, because there's Ignis sitting there outside the door, a radio next to him reporting the lack of news.
Noctis inhales, mouth open to say something, but he closes it again, not sure what to say. Ignis is... He's like this because of him. He'll never read a newspaper again, or drive again, or a million other things because of him. Noctis is sure Ignis hates him; why else would he stop visiting like that? And he's got ever right to. But here he is, sitting outside his room, so close, and so completely out of reach. Noctis doesn't know what to say, where to even start, so he doesn't say anything. Turning around, going back into his room or just walking by... He can't do any of that, either. The moment hangs. ]
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Date: 2019-07-29 04:22 am (UTC)Luna's gone. It almost doesn't feel real, because for so long, she was never around. But Umbra doesn't visit again, and the notebook's still in a drawer in his hotel room with no response beyond the flower on the last page. No response ever again.
He sleeps a lot. It's easy. He felt tired and sore at first; it was a struggle just to sit up, to look in Ignis' direction. His body ached. It's easy to draw that out for days longer than he feels it, to sleep overly long, to stay in bed. The meals brought to him by the guys are from the hotel staff. He doesn't know how much any of this costs. He doesn't ask. Ignis doesn't bring it up. Nothing's like it used to be between them.
It gets to him eventually. Not the misery, not the grief and loss. Noctis wears those like a second skin, now. The loss of his dad was hard. Losing Luna is even harder. But he's lived through hell before. This is different, because back then, he had his friends to support him. Gladio's disapproval, Prompto's unrelenting cheer. They're hurting and he's disappointing them, but they're used to that from him, too, and Noctis is used to letting them down. It's not until he realizes that Ignis has stopped visiting his room that Noctis breaks. Nothing's every going to be how it used to be.
Concern and fear feel like the same thing to Noctis, but whatever it is, it's good motivation. He gets out of bed and doesn't just go stare off his balcony. He takes a shower instead for the first time in a couple days, and puts on clean clothes. The first few steps out of his room hit him with a weird sense of agoraphobia, like he's going to walk out onto that alter, or into a field of sylleblossoms, like in his dreams. He walks out into a hotel hallway instead. With a steadying exhale, he turns, ready to find his way downstairs... Only to stop after a couple steps, because there's Ignis sitting there outside the door, a radio next to him reporting the lack of news.
Noctis inhales, mouth open to say something, but he closes it again, not sure what to say. Ignis is... He's like this because of him. He'll never read a newspaper again, or drive again, or a million other things because of him. Noctis is sure Ignis hates him; why else would he stop visiting like that? And he's got ever right to. But here he is, sitting outside his room, so close, and so completely out of reach. Noctis doesn't know what to say, where to even start, so he doesn't say anything. Turning around, going back into his room or just walking by... He can't do any of that, either. The moment hangs. ]